Learning to Not Barter Away My Own Store

I have five children adopted from two different countries, three from Russia, two from Haiti.  It was my tradition, as the adoptions drew to a close, to purchase something local to have as a keepsake from the time they made the transition to life here in the States.  For Katya it was a set of Russian blue nesting dolls, Jack, nesting dolls of famous Russian leaders, Zachary, was a hand made Pinnochio puppet, Grace, a Haitian doll and Alex a hand painted tap tap (Haiti's version of a cab).  Of course all of these things hold a special place in my china cabinet until they are all old enough to put them in their own china cabinets.  I often think back to the common thread in buying this stuff.  All of it was purchased at a road side stand in the middle of nowhere far away from here.  Said stands were always run by hungry people bartering to get the most for their wares.  Bartering.  This is not a task I enjoy.  The desperation on the faces of these people as they try to get as much money as they can, as they live in some of the poorest places in the world.

A funny thing seems to happen when this is the case.  Suddenly, there is no ability to make change.  The price stands firm.  I say 12 dollars, they say 20.  When I say no they stand firm for a while.  Then, just as I am walking away, they suddenly start adding more things to make up the difference due to their lack of change.  Pretty soon there is a bracelet, a plaque, another statue...  desperate to get the full 20 even if it means giving away the store.  Suddenly, the vendor loses all control of the transaction just to get the 20 out of my hand.  The ugly side of bartering in a 3rd world country is that their next meal truly may ride on my transaction.  So, typically, I would simply relent, allow them to keep some of the ever growing pile of wares, and give them the money.  Yes, I realize, I am a terrible barterer.

I was thinking about this very thing today.  I had a long chat with one of my sharks about pushing past the comfort zone of the group exercise class. I had settled into this a couple years ago myself.  The comfort zone of the trainer pointing the way, and friends to cheer you through.  I had never been successful on my own before now, and learning to trust myself to do other things has been a huge challenge.  Today was no exception.  I set out for a run after the comfort of my 2.5 mile interval hill climb at Orangetheory.  Just me and the trail.  The bartering with myself, just like I had done with some hungry Haitians a few years ago, began.  I parked the car and as I stared down the entrance to the trail, my resolve to run 30 mins suddenly began to waver.  I started offering myself less, maybe 20 would be ok.  Maybe I could walk some.  OK, NO.  I hit the trail at my usual 10:40 pace, and much like the vendors, stood firm.

I should say, I stood firm until I hit the 15 min mark.  I turned around and headed back to the car.  Pretty soon I saw my usual landmarks.  There was the Ferry Road Bridge in the distance.  OK I can make it there and then walk.  As I got there, I had to ask myself why I would want to walk?  I was breathing OK, nothing hurt that much, I was OK...keep going.  I had the same chat with myself as I came up on the park bench, only the old man sleeping on it kept me from walking there.  Then
 it was the orange barrel, I could stop there.  OK, wait, why?  I'm ok...keep going, I would pass the steel post signifying the road to cross was coming, and crossing that meant the final stretch, well I made it this far, I might as well finish.  Besides, I was emerging from the trail and I could see the beautiful water, with the sunshine.  As I looked out over the water I was suddenly realizing not quitting was so much better than giving in to my own low ball bartering.  That satisfied moment and many moments like it in this location in recent weeks has me beginning to think that Lock 7 very well may just be my happy place.

In the glow of a successful run, I truly began to think about how many times I had allowed my own hunger for something different allow me to relent part way through the plan and give away my own store.  I repeatedly gave away my goals and stood in my own way because my desire for a moment of comfort far outweighed a successful run or a good diet day, only to find myself disappointed once again.

Although from a business perspective, I guess I would be considered a terrible barterer.  However,  I wonder if maybe I am not altogether awful.  Maybe our job is really to not allow others to barter away their own stores in a moment of comfort, rather, help them build a bigger and better store.  Friday, I have the extreme fortune to be taking said shark on a run to bust her out of the comfort zone of group exercise and learn to trust her own abilities just as I am slowly learning to do.  One thing is for sure, she will never look at Lock 7 the same again and hopefully she will see, as I have, the best is yet to come.