Learning to be the Kangaroo

When I was a young teenager, one of my best friends and I would decide at various times we were going to take up running.  We would suit up in our bad 80's track suits and in my case, lace up a pair of Kangaroos.  The coveted 80's shoe that had a zipper pocket on the side.  It seemed odd to have a running shoe based on an animal that didn't run, but presumably they were named for the pocket much like a kangaroo pouch.  Why did we need a zipper pocket that was not big enough to hold anything other than a quarter or two anyway? I suppose in the pre-cell phone era we needed that to avoid the collect call from the pay phone that pissed parents off across the land.  Nonetheless, I had some bad ass Kangaroos.  We would set out from my elementary school and run/walk a mile and feel accomplished, and fashionable. This would go on for a time, then the weather would change or we would get busy with other things and stop for whatever reason.

When I think about these humble beginnings that would lead into decades of false starts and yo-yo dieting, it would be difficult for the obese 14 year old me to really see any level of fitness for the 50 year old 2019 me.  Yet here I am.  This week I hit a milestone.  I have begun consistently doing dead lift sets of 100 pounds and doing it well.  One.  Hundred.  Pounds.  That seemed like such a big number, so I decided I would look to see what else weighs 100 pounds.  It turns out half a kangaroo.  That's what weighs 100 pounds.  God, they were weird looking.  Gigantic feet, big belly, huge tail and had no ability to walk or run.  Again.  Why is it we needed a shoe named after these odd non-running creatures?

A little more Googling would tell me, as it turns out, nothing is as it seems with the kangaroo.  They have no ability to go backwards at all.  Their gigantic tail prevented that, and served as their balance.  Kangaroos can only launch themselves forward by powerful giant leaps, not looking back, hurling themselves confidently toward their destination at speeds over 40 miles an hour. That is why as a spirit animal, they represent the gift of speed and stamina gifted to a person as long as they are willing to move forward and not stop or look back. 

When my trainer challenged me to start getting strong this year, I took on the challenge with no real certainty where it would take me.  I learned along the way that heavy lifting changes your body.  Suddenly the 2's no longer fit because the thighs are too big and my lifelong obesity related body image issues would rear their ugly head one more time.  Nonetheless, I pushed on because as a fellow heavy lifter and friend told me recently,"something happens when I am with the weights."  I have come to learn she is right about that.  Life throws some pretty heavy bricks at times, for which I have no control, but somehow controlling the 50 pound dumbbell makes it easier to do the day to day heavy lifting required by this thing called life. 

So, maybe the Kangaroo shoe people had it right after all.  Maybe we should be a little more like the powerful kangaroo, pick a direction, run at it full force and never look back, having full faith that the balance, strength and stamina exist in us.  Only in that space will we see what we are truly capable of.  For me?  In a few weeks that same childhood friend will meet me in Florida for four days of running.  We will leave our track suits in the 80's and trade the Kangaroos for some modern high tech Brooks and take on 48 miles in four days, a far cry from the mile loop near my elementary school in the suburbs of Chicago. 

Otherwise, I am beginning to quiet the insecurities of my body image issues and appreciate the body heavy lifting is giving me. As it turns out all this lifting, and an affinity for the Matrix stepper, has my ass well on it's way to Kardashian status, which I have decided trumps any number on the scale or a clothing tag.  So, I will keep working my way down on the big girl weight rack with the goal of one day lifting a full kangaroo rather than a half.  I have a feeling that reaching full kangaroo status will teach me that an unwavering 40 mph charge at life will show me that the best is truly yet to come.