After three years and 140 blog posts, I suppose I owe my loyal audience a bit of an apology. Yes. I am aware I have put nothing new out in four weeks, when I am usually a faithful every two week poster. Here’s the problem. Writer’s block. It’s a thing. To be honest, I have had many a night recently staring at my bloggers blank entry page for a time, ultimately giving up and ending up on Amazon. The problem may run a bit deeper than I imagined as my daughter commented today,"Boy Mom you sure get a lot of packages lately." Trust me I truly needed a new dishwasher spray arm, but new shoes for every person under my roof may have been a bit over the top.
Oh I had a million different ideas, but none were fresh and new. It all felt like ground I had covered before. Overcoming this or that, but somehow none of it seemed to want to flow out of me in any reasonable manner. To be honest, writer's block didn't make sense to me. For months, all I wanted was a sense of normalcy. In large part I had gotten it. Back to my gym, back to my gym family, workouts every day with trainers who knew me best and even an obstacle race this coming Saturday, something I didn't think I would see this year. All in, I should be excited and tap into my inner inspiration and share that with my loyal readers. "Should" is the magic word here.
As I rolled through the last few weeks, I can honestly say the return to normal was certainly welcome and a vast improvement over the last six months, but something was missing. I was doing like I normally did, yet somehow it all felt a bit lack luster. I suppose I accepted a thousand different excuses, like working out in a mask was not ideal or I have made a wee bit of backward process in my strength as my weights as home were not as heavy as the ones at the gym, but the reality is I simply did not know what was missing.
That is until a simple text from a friend came through proposing the most outlandish physical challenge that would take place a year from now. It almost seemed ludicrous to consider. I have done a lot of stuff, but this is much bigger than anything I have done before. I talked it over with my accountability partner and my favorite training partner, my son. I would bargain with myself. Was it ludicrous? Yes. It's crazy. But... what if we did it? This is going to require the hardest physical training I have ever done, and will take a year to prepare for.
In the time that followed this simple proposal, my head spun with "what if's," and it even kept me up at night. This week I put all that aside and committed to said challenge as did my son and my partner. Our quintessential 1DOS leadership team building activity. Admittedly, I'm a little bit afraid, and a little bit excited, but mostly curious to see what version of myself lives on the other side of this event's successful completion. Today, I would go to the gym with my son, this notion fueled everything I did. Suddenly, this event had taken hold of my psyche and told me I have 12 months and I damn well better get my ass in gear. I pushed as hard as I could, and left the gym drenched, out of breath, sore and exhilarated. What had started as a simple text between friends has now given me the fuel I didn't even know I was lacking with my prior return to "normal."
It's not whatcha got, it's what you give, It ain't the life you choose, its's the life you live - Tesla
As I sat in the car cooling off listening to Tesla, it dawned on me. My return to "normal" was a return to my normal day to day stuff. No, there is nothing wrong with daily workouts, or mid range obstacle races like I will do on Saturday. Those, in fact, are good albeit, great things, and I am stoked to crawl through the mud and jump off a 15 foot wall, well stoked about heights may not be quite accurate.... Anyway, for now It's what I got, but It's also what I have had for several years. In fact, I would go so far as to say there is a certain level of complacency in this particular "normal." This new goal has reminded me that I actually am always capable of giving myself so much more so I can take this thing called life for a ride. With this, it dawns on me, maybe the thing to do is to not shoot for a prepandemic return to normal. Maybe the better thing to do is to locate that little voice, that friend who can push us just a bit to remind us that sometimes "normal," no matter how good it appears, can be code for complacency and we are actually always able to do more in order to lead our best lives. I have a feeling this is going to be quite a year, and in that amount of time I am sure I will learn as always, the best is yet to come.
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