Labor Day

Labor Day. The end of summer. Kids back to school and moms, ok when I say "moms" I am actually more or less referring to me, enjoy a cup of coffee uninterrupted by demands for breakfast with a healthy dose of SpongeBob. It also symbolizes the end of summer and by the end of summer I mean the end of a season that strikes fear in the heart of overweight women. Bathing suit season. Winter is one thing. Hoodies. Sweaters. Big jackets. All things designed to hide a multitude of sins. However, a bathing suit is not that forgiving. For a girl who would like nothing better than to live on a beach somewhere and never wear shoes again, the notion of finding a bathing suit at my former 77 pound heavier self was terrifying.

When I was a kid there were few options in swimwear. In general, it was the speedo racing suit or a string bikini. Very little in between. I can still remember my favorite speedo suit. It was marbeled orange.  I spent a lot of time at Sunset Pool in Glen Ellyn, a suburb of Chicago where I grew up. It would not me unusual for me to be there six hours a day. In those days at age 9 or 10 I could ride my bike the couple miles there and just turn up for dinner. The question is, did I ever competitively swim?  I did. I was about 7 or 8 and was one of the few kids who could get from one end of the pool to the other with the cursed butterfly stroke. I hated it then and hate it now. Michael Phelps I am not.

So bathing suit shopping was hard. Many times in my adult life I would take ten suits into the dressing room only to have 10 failures. My parts did not fit into those. Not well anyway. I would ultimately settle on some sort of one piece that simply did not suck. If I had the opportunity to wear said not sucking suit, I would spend my time either in the water or laying on the beach or pool deck. Any other activity required the obligatory cover up. I mean really "cover up" has just matriculated to be a kinder way to refer to a mumu, mostly because mumu was too close to what I would consider a cow noise. Perhaps we have now graduated to a more politically correct name for that garment. I would also see these really big women in the "swim dress" which at that time I refused to give in to as to me that clearly meant I had given up. What 28 year old wears a swim dress anyway?  Not this girl.

Then I had weight loss surgery. I had a whole new set of problems. I had loose belly skin. So by this time the good people at Spanx had broken into swimwear and my life was suddenly better. There are other shape wear swim wear companies who cater to this struggle and for that we are all incredibly grateful. Miraclesuit, as it turns out is true to its name. However, these things are expensive. $100 or more depending. Plus the problem with that industrial strength spandex is when it gets wet and you have to use the bathroom it does take super human strength to wiggle in and out of the thing. Thus the popularity of the tankini. Whoever thought of that seriously is owed some gratitude from me.

Well, bathing suit season may officially be ending and my current tankinis are fading. Which brings me to my big event of the day. In a few weeks I will have a reunion with some of the greatest women I have ever known. My sorority sisters. These women laughed and cried with me during those years and probably still hold some of my life's best times in their hearts. We have rented  a house in a warmer climate and had the chance to buy a new bathing suit. For the first time in my adult life, I ordered a regular suit. Not shape wear. Not plus size. Just a regular tankini with a bit of a flowing top to hide what remains of my belly issues, which are 100% better secondary to the dreaded routine "core blasts" OTF treats me to several times a week. The suit was $17.98. I ordered it thinking if it did not work I was not out much. It arrived today and worked perfectly. Will post pics from my trip....

The point is this. This journey is full of fear. Fear on more levels than I realized. Each day finding a way to conquer even the smallest brings me one day closer to my goals.