It would seem I have been on a bit of a hiatus for a week or so. The reality is I have been traveling. First to see my granddaughter then on for a girls' weekend in Arizona. I have often wondered about but what that type of weekend would look like. It was not something I had done before and I was seeing women I had not spent time with in 20 years. Coming off the plane in the nice warm desert from a chilly upstate New York I began to relax immediately, with the friendly face of my old roommate meeting me right in baggage.
In the days that followed, I would have a great reminder of what it was to be 21 again. Carefree, and laughs that I have not had in a very long time. I did not eat clean, I probably drank more than I should have and trained only one time in 5 days. A complete departure from my current life which has become strict with the diet and training not less than an hour a day. I keep stats of my fastest runs and rows. My graph of PR's with weights....on and on it goes. Through it all, rather than feeling the guilt of not being stringent with my diet, or for the first time being away from my family for a time that belonged only to me, I felt renewed. In that space lives the 20 something girl who learned to be on her own with the support of these women. With these women I had made the transition from shy overweight girl to successful adult. It reminded me of where I came from and where I ended up and certainly the debt of gratitude for shaping me into who I am today that I owe these women I am blessed to call sisters.
So, as I got up this morning, starting the washer, making lunches, preparing for the gym and a ten hour shift I have no regrets for my pizza eating or beer drinking weekend. I feel renewed and ready for a triumphant return to the gym and finalizing plans for a race next month. Mostly I realized I had learned something. People always tell me to take a day off. Have one bite of something I shouldn't. I usually dig my heels in and say no. I was even the one crutching it into the gym ten days post op after hip surgery. Not that dedication is a bad thing, but finding renewal just may matter just as much. Now I may rethink that in an hour at OTF when I take on my run for the first time in days, but know the bigger picture will matter more.
So to my girls I say thank you for reminding me who I am, and more importantly, helping me find balance in the care of myself. So.....pack those cactus shaped shot glasses away carefully, see ya' next year bitches! Love you all.
No comments:
Post a Comment